Blossom
by Hideyo
Summary: RitsukaXSoubi, YuikoxYayoi. Ritsuka and Soubi have been 'together' for four years now. Story about their growing relationship, and Ritsuka's growing intolerance for his Mother.
1. Chapter 1

**Before you read:**

Hello All! waves I'm glad you are taking a look (or peak) at my story! It's long, but I hope you enjoy it! Written for a friend for luck in high school, we are ready to walk those halls!

**Final Word Count:** 6239 (WOW)

_I don't own any of Loveless, (probably a good thing) and I did this for...I don't know why XD_

On to the story!

* * *

Four years, they seemed to go so quickly. Ritsuka could hardly remember what had happened. He opened his eyes. Summer... would it ever come?

"Aoyagi-kun? I'd love it if you paid attention, I'll be testing you on it," his teacher warningly told him, it was almost a threat really. He nodded. His mind was wondering to much to pay attention. Yuiko stared at him, she had grown, not nearly as much as he had. He was taller than her now. He rested his head in his hands. Soubi...the name almost hurt, he felt his heart flutter and jump, skipping beats almost if it had a mind of it's own.  
He shook off the feeling and looked out the window. The clouds were beginning to be the big fluffy ones, as Yuiko had described. The sky was a very pure blue, it belonged on a canvas to enjoy forever, and Ritsuka wanted to go outside and be in the sunlight. It would be even better if he was there, just being by his side and adding beauty to the already gorgeous day.  
He blushed at the thought of him. His heart began it's strange dance again. Thoughts of Soubi filled his mind. His silky blond hair, his sharp blue eyes, his soft skin, even the way he smelled...it all made Ritsuka crazy and he almost felt like crying, for no reason he could come up with.  
The bell rang, just before he broke down. He stood up, his mind racing, he grabbed his stuff and headed out for the courtyard. Yuiko called for him, but he obviously didn't hear. He pulled out his cellphone and debated over if he should call Soubi or not. It had been weeks since Soubi last came and picked him up, or for that matter said anything to him. It was frustrating, and worrying. He leaned against a wall and stared at the butterfly wallpaper. Yuiko stared from across the room, longing for a way to cheer up ar help her friend. Yayoi walked over to Yuiko, just as worried over her as she was Ritsuka..

"Yuiko-san? What's wrong?"

"Ritsuka-kun..he's not acting like himself..."

"What do you mean?" Yayoi looked at Ritsuka, who was preparing himself to go outside.

"He wasn't paying attention in classes today. At all. He seemed distant, and a bit day-dreamy. He didn't even hear me calling his name...He's been like this for a few weeks now though. Today was really bad...I feel so...helpless" She took many pauses, carefully assembling the way she felt.

"He's just got something on his mind. He'll tell you when he's ready, okay?" Yayoi explained. To his surprise, Yuiko didn't cry. Not a single tear. Yayoi wondered what was wrong with their friend, it was a different worry than Yuiko's longing worry however. It wasn't like him to not say goodbye to anyone, he was usually careful about such matters. Ritsuka shook his head and decided to wait until he got home to call Soubi, the school was too crowed. He hoped he made the right decision. His stomach was all twisted up, he felt like he was going to throw up.  
He gathered himself and left the school. The courtyard was full of students, some had already lost their ears. It was usually the talk of the girls, it was almost like a status symbol. He walked out of the courtyard, not listening to any of the chatter coming from around him.  
It was a warm day, summer was defiantly coming. The school was close to a bakery, and the air was filled with the scents of pastries, fresh bread, and anything else you would find at a bakery. Ritsuka started running, he wanted to be alone. He didn't want anyone to find him. Not until he was ready.  
His raven black hair shimmered in the summer sunlight. His tail floated behind him, not showing any emotion of it's own. His ears folded back against his head. His deep violet eyes focused on the path in front of his feet.  
As he got about half way home, he heard very familiar voices, however, he didn't want to stop. He looked as he ran past. Kio, Youji and Natsuo, they were carrying boxes into a home-like building. Even though Ritsuka was interested in what they were doing, he didn't stop. He had to get home. Kio caught a glimpse of him running by, he called after the young boy. Ritsuka didn't hear him, and naturally didn't stop.  
Running home, Ritsuka it wouldn't take him long to arrive. It was only a couple minutes away if he ran. Once he got home, a small note on the door caught his attention before he entered. He took it off the door and promptly read it.

_ Ritsuka,_

_I'll be out taking care of your grandmother. I do not know when I'll be home. Be good for mom while she's gone alright?_

Ritsuka crumpled the note. She didn't even say goodbye. He didn't really care, it was just the point. He went up to his room. The house was quite. He threw his bag down, and sighed. He went to the bathroom to check the wound on his face. It was almost healed. He pulled of the bandage and walked out. He looked around. He opened his cellphone, and looked at it. A text message arrived, it startled him, simply stating "Open the window. Please?" Soubi...Ritsuka thought. He had locked it since Soubi hadn't been showing up. He walked over to the window. He unlocked it, and smiled. Soubi grinned and came in.

"Hey Soubi." Ritsuka broke the silence. He sat on his bed, and watched the tall man come over.

"How have you been?" Soubi sat beside him. He kissed Ritsuka on the cheek, and answered,

"I've missed you." Ritsuka's cheeks filled with a rosy color.

"I missed you too Soubi..." Ritsuka leaned against Soubi. "Next time your gone for a long time call please. I was worried." Soubi chucked a little.

"Alright. I'll make sure to call." He pulled the younger boy closer to him. Ritsuka's heart raced, it wouldn't calm down. Soubi's warm hand gently slid up Ritsuka's back, under his shirt. "Ritsuka, are you okay?" Soubi noticed how fast Ritsuka's heart was beating. Ritsuka nodded, still trying to calm himself down. "Alright," Soubi announced after a fe minuted of silence had passed. "Lets go."

"Go? Where?"

"Somewhere." Soubi grinned. He stood up. Ritsuka followed. He didn't care where they went, as long as he was with his fighter. They left out the main door, as Ritsuka asked. The entire walk, Ritsuka kept his head down, and Soubi had his arm around his shoulder. Ritsuka was getting taller, Soubi somewhat enjoyed him being so tall. He no longer had to bed over so far to kiss him. Soubi stopped in front of a gate.

"Ritsuka, look at me." Soubi said. Ritsuka did, and Soubi kissed him. Ritsuka's body was struck with nerves for a moment, and then he calmed down. Soubi held Ritsuka close, not letting him move. Ritsuka closed his eyes, warmth filled his body. Soubi pulled away, just far enough to look at Ritsuka. Ritsuka opened his eyes to meet the gemstone blue ones staring back. Ritsuka looked away, turning a bright red. Soubi smiled. Ritsuka had melted in Soubi's embrace, and he didn't want to leave the warm safety of Soubi's arms. Soubi pulled away and began to walk, Ritsuka noticed and quickly followed after. Ritsuka noticed shortly that this was where the others were bringing boxes to. Soubi unlocked a door, pretty close to the entry, and opened it. Kio was sprawled out on the floor. The zero boys were sitting next to him.

"Ah. Soubi's back." Youji said. Kio about jumped up. Soubi shook his head, he walked in, Ritsuka followed. Closing the door behind him, Soubi walked over to where the three were sitting. Ritsuka wandered in, looking around.

"Finally." Natsuo teased.

"Sou-chan! I was worried when you bolted off like that. Plus you left the rest of the boxes for us." Kio whined. Ritsuka chuckled a little. Youji and Natsuo grinned.

"I didn't think you'd mind. Plus, you said .." Kio interrupted.

"No excuses! You'll just have to make it up to me." Kio started to flirt with Soubi. Soubi looked at him and sighed.

"How about dinner for everyone then?" He asked, completely ignoring Kio. The two zeros perked up, and Kio sighed. Ritsuka looked around, Boxes were everywhere. Some were open and empty, others were closed, and probably full. There was art supplies scattered, and a canvas stood near a window. Ritsuka looked up, to find another floor. The place was lightly furnished, enough for everyday living.

"Ritsuka?" Youji asked.

"Huh?" He responded, looking back at the others.

"Come sit." He grinned as he invited Ritsuka to the floor. Ritsuka nodded, somewhat regretting the choise to sit with them. Soubi went to the kitchen, Kio followed. The two zeros had grown, but were pretty much the same people.

"So, How's everything been?" Natsuo asked.

"Alright I guess. How about you two?" Ritsuka sat across from them.

"Hrm, well we've been good." Youji answered for both of them. Ritsuka felt nervous all of the sudden. He glanced over his shoulder, like something was watching him. After seeing nothing, he focused on the conversation. While the boys caught up, Kio and Soubi were in the kitchen talking.

"Soubi, I'm worried about you and that brat."

"He has a name you know." Soubi muttered at Kio, becoming slightly irritated. Kio sighed, he was worried about his friend and the relationship he had with Ritsuka.

"I saw the kiss before you two came in," Kio said sounding almost disappointed. "The question is, why?"

"Because, Kio, I love him. Do you need anymore explanation?"

"Why him?" Kio protested, his voice was whiney and the 'him came out more like 'hiiimmm'. Soubi looked up from his cooking, to find Kio looking at him, almost crying.

"At first, it's because Seimei told me to, but after a few days..." he paused. "I didn't care what Seimei had ordered me to do. I found myself in love. I don't know what it is about Ritsuka, but I love him. Do you understand?"

"I guess, He's so much younger, couldn't that be a problem?" Soubi chuckled and returned to cooking. Kio hadn't given up, Soubi was just avoiding Kio's questions.

"Ritsuka, you okay? You kinda pale..." Youji said worried. Ritsuka nodded and Natsuo sighed at Ritsuka's reaction, and the fact that he knew his partner was pushy and would get what he wanted to hear. No matter how long it took.

"Well, I'll go get Soubi if you don't tell us what's up." Youji said getting up.

"Honestly, I'm fine. I just felt sick for a moment. I don't know why really." Ritsuka said. He hated people worrying over him, he always had. It wasn't about to change. Youji chuckled and sat down.

"I still can't believe it's been three years since we met you and Soubi. It seems like so long ago." Natsuo noticing the discomfort in Ritsuka's voice. Ritsuka nodded.

"Everyone is getting so tall..." Youji said. The fighter flopped down on his back. The two zeros started to tease each other. Ritsuka's mind began to wander again, he kept thinking of the kiss Soubi has given him before they came. It almost felt like a dream, his heart longed to return to that moment. Why was he always thinking of Soubi? His mind was filled with thoughts of him, and nothing seemed to change that. At school he couldn't focus very well, especially when he hadn't seen Soubi in a while, his friends and teachers were worried. He told them it was nothing, but was Soubi nothing to him? No, Soubi was everything. He couldn't imagine what it would be like with out him. Every time Soubi held him close, he felt warm and safe, like nothing could hurt him.  
His voice, it was powerful, yet warm at the same time. His kisses, they made Ritsuka melt, unable to think or function. Being near Soubi made his heart pound, his stomach fluttered, He could hardly look Soubi in the eyes, as beautiful as they were. Why was he feeling like this all the time? It was frustrating, he couldn't get it off his mind. He didn't want to tell Soubi, or anyone Soubi knew. Maybe he'd ask his therapist tomorrow. If he couldn't figure it out. Ritsuka sighed in his own thoughts, not knowing what was going on with himself. Unfortunately, the zero boys heard it, and came up behind him.

"Ritsuka?" Youji whispered in his ear. It startled Ritsuka and made him jump. He was abruptly taken from his thoughts. His cheeks were burning, he didn't even notice that Youji and Natsuo had moved.

"Sheesh! Don't scare me like that," Ritsuka said, regaining his sanity. The two other boys grinned.

"We thought you would notice us walking over."

"He was deep in thought Natsuo, he was turning a bright pink too. I wonder what her was thinking about." Ritsuka rolled his eyes and sat up.

"I'm not sure." Youji grinned. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." Ritsuka responded coldly.

"Come on Ritsuka!" Youji pleaded and teased. "Tell us what you were thinking about!"

"Give it up. I'm not telling." Ritsuka wouldn't tell them and that was that, the zeros however, knew no sense of defeat. Luckily Youji's phone rang, interrupting the, interrogation.

"Ah!" Youji scrambled to answer it.

"Who is it?"

"Nagisa. What a bother." Youji said and answered his cell. Ritsuka gave a small sigh of relief, and tried to calm down. Their conversation wasn't long.

"I'd love to, But we're a bit busy. I'll call you later." Youji said. You could hear her screaming from across the room. Youji hung up and shoved it into his pocket.

"What was that about?" Natsuo asked.

"Don't know, don't care. She'll call later if it's important." Natsuo laughed. Youji turned to Ritsuka once again and grinned.

"So Ritsuka, what were you thinking about?"

"I'm not telling you." Ritsuka said, crossing his arms, his ears flattened against his head.

"We'll see about that." Natsuo announced. The continued to try to get it out of him until Soubi came out. He saw the Zeros teasing Ritsuka, and chuckled a little. He leaned up against the wall and watched. Youji glanced up and grinned.

"Soubi, You should ask. He'd tell you," Ritsuka looked behind him to see Soubi standing there. He glared at Youji for a brief second, and then sighed. Soubi only grinned.

"I told you I'm not telling." Ritsuka muttered, trying to sort out his feelings. Natsuo shrugged. He went to go sit with his partner. Soubi wandered over to Ritsuka, and kissed his cheek. Ritsuka smiled a little, hoping Soubi would notice his appreciation.

"You know, your cute when your frustrated." Soubi teased. Ritsuka ignored his last comment, Soubi noticed the cut on Ritsuka's cheer, and he frowned a little. He hated that Ritsuka was abused,. Sometimes he wish Ritsuka was old enough to leave her, but anytime Soubi brought it up, Ritsuka refused. He said that She needed him, or she'd go completely insane. It was only for a few years, and Soubi would try and keep Ritsuka away from the house as much as he could. As long as Ritsuka didn't object, Soubi would do anything for that boy. Soubi placed his hands on Ritsuka's shoulders, and naturally Ritsuka tensed up, like he was frozen and stiff.

"Relax Ritsuka, I'm not going to do anything. I promise." Ritsuka blushed for a moment, and Soubi smiled.

"Sou-chan! I think it's burning!" Kio yelled from the kitchen, obviously panicking. Soubi sighed and walked off to the kitchen shaking his head. Ritsuka glanced over his shoulder to see The zeros kissing. He rolled his eyes, and laid down once again. Hoping that he would be able to be with Soubi alone for a little. He decided to not think about Soubi, so he closed his eyes and began to think about the past three years. The battle with Beloved stood out. Wait, wasn't Soubi beloved? But that means that there would be three in one team, how could that be? Ritsuka knew that only two people could have the same name, not three.  
That had been made clear to him. Well, with the exception of the zeros, who knew how many people had the name zero. But, the thing that worried Ritsuka most was how whenever he brought it up to Soubi, it was only brushed off. It was frustrating, because Ritsuka really wanted to know, and he wouldn't ask anyone else, it didn't seem right. Ritsuka thought of Soubi's name, it looked different, like it had been carved in, and also it was in a different spot. Beloved was on the middle finger stretching onto the hand for Seimei and Nisei. Soubi's was on his neck, with what looked like barbed wire marks surrounding it. It bled, until Soubi began calling himself Loveless.  
Loveless, what a terrible name, Ritsuka wished Soubi never took his name. That point alarmed Ritsuka, how could he be Beloved, then Loveless? It made no sense! He had two names? And he wasn't always Loveless. Did he lose the name Beloved? But that still didn't explain why he had become Loveless.

"It makes no sense..." Ritsuka muttered.

"What makes no sense?" Natsuo asked. Ritsuka hadn't realized he had said anything out loud.

"I'd like to know," Youji added. Ritsuka opened his eyes to see the questioning males sitting on both sides of him.

"You guys REALLY shouldn't be able to sneak around. You don't need to be able to do that at all." The two boys laughed a little.

"Hey! Dinners ready!" Kio called. Youji and Natsuo stood up, and walked towards the table.

"Wonder what they made."

"Dunno. Probably tasty though." Ritsuka got up and stretched. Soubi was standing a few feet away.

"Hope they didn't give you too much trouble." Ritsuka walked over to Soubi and shook his head.

"It's fine." Soubi ruffled Ritsuka's hair, and kissed his cheek. Soubi and Ritsuka joined the others The seating arrangement was as followed, Youji and Natsuo, then Kio at the head of the table, then Soubi and Ritsuka. As they began to eat, a conversation began. Ritsuka wasn't really listening, but the voices and laughing was very comforting to him. He enjoyed being with everyone that was there, he didn't really care if Kio flirted with Soubi a lot, or if Youji and Natsuo teased him about things, they were friends, and he hoped to keep them through it all. The most important person, was sitting next to him, Soubi. Ritsuka felt a sense of safety when he was with Soubi. He felt warm, and more recently nervous and fluttery.

"Soubi, remind me you can cook," Kio said grinning a bit like an idiot. Everyone smiled. It was true, what Soubi had prepared was amazing. The taste seemed to melt and change as you ate, each bite contained the same things, but each bite was better and better. Ritsuka began to think about Soubi again, his ears folded back at his own disgust. He needed to stop thinking about Soubi, it was beginning to be annoying. Soubi noticed Ritsuka's frustration, and smiled a little, he returned to the conversation, he'd ask Ritsuka later. The conversation bubbled, about his and that. Ritsuka smiled but didn't say anything.  
The sky was orange, clouds covered most of the sky. It was going to rain, the sun couldn't shine through the dense blockades. Outside was calm, a small breeze blew through the town, causing the leaves in the trees to rustle a little. People were heading home from their long day at work, just to get up the next morning to do it again. It was the daily rhythm of life. The breeze was interrupted by a high pitched noise that ran through the ears of the fighters ans sacrifices that sat eating. They exchanged looks to one another. Kio looked completely lost as the conversations came to a sudden halt. Ritsuka looked over at Soubi, who was starting to say something.

"So, who wants to go?"

"We'll go." Natsuo said. "I think these were the guys Nagisa were talking about." The zeros stood.

"What's going on?" Kio said, unaware of what was taking place. "Sou-kun?" Soubi was standing up with the zeros.

"You two sure?"

"Yeah, no problem. You'll know if something happens to us." Natsuo smiled. Soubi nodded.

"We'll tell you who it was in a bit." Youji added, confident in his skills. They headed towards the front door. Soubi sat down, close to his sacrifice. Ritsuka leaned his head on Soubi's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"You alright Ritsuka?" Soubi asked, worried.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Ritsuka replied quietly. Soubi didn't believe him, but wouldn't push the boy. He didn't want him upset. Kio sat in silence, not know what to say. He didn't like those two together, he was worried that Ritsuka was like Seimei, and would hurt Soubi. Kio didn't want his friend in that state again, it was painful.

"Soubi, what's going on?" Kio said, not know of what was taking place outside.

"Remember those battles I was talking about?"

"Yeah. With the fighter and sacrifice?" Soubi nodded.

"That's what's going on." Kio nodded, obviously not caring what was going on, just trying to strike up a conversation. Ritsuka was feeling weak, and was glad he wasn't fighting, he didn't know if he would be up to it. Youji and Natsuo always seemed up to a good fight, it must be something about them being zeros. Soubi leaned over and kissed Ritsuka's black ear, trying to make sure he was okay.

"Soubi...will they be okay?" Kio asked, sounding worried about his friends.

"They'll be fine. Remember, they can't feel pain, they should be fine. Unless they other pair is really good. But I doubt that."

"Wait, why don't they feel pain? Aren't they human? Oh my god, are they robots?" Soubi signed. Ritsuka smiled a little. Soubi went into explaining why they didn't feel pain. Ritsuka was happy to hear Soubi's voice, that's all he really wanted right now. To be with _him_. The rest of the world could wait. Ritsuka hoped the battle wouldn't last to long. He didn't really want anyone to be fighting, he was against it as it was. Having his friends fight wasn't his favorite thing.

"So, they've been altered. Creepy." Kio said, obviously trying to shake the thought. "Anyway, how long do the battles usually last?"

"Not too long, It depends on the skill of the pairs." The room was quiet, it seemed as if nothing was happening outside the condo. Before long, the silence was broken by the two boys coming inside, talking as if nothing happened.

"Hey guys," Natsuo grinned. Neither of them had a single scratch.

"How'd it go?" Soubi asked. Ritsuka still hadn't moved of his shoulder, he was trying to stay still.

"Fine. I'm sure they'll be back. Once they recover anyways." Youji said.

"Yeah, Nagisa was right about those two. If they took on a beginner pair they'd be toast. Thank god we can't feel pain." They returned to the table, smiling and laughing as if nothing had happened. Ritsuka was glad they were back inside, but really didn't have anything to say. Soubi gather Ritsuka into his lap, and wrapped his arms around him. No one seemed to care. They sat around talking for a good 15 minutes before Youji stood up.

"Well, It's about time we start heading home." Natsuo followed his partner.

"Alright. Thanks for all your help today guys."

"No problem. Nice seeing you again Ritsuka, See you Kio." Natsuo said

"Later." Youji finished. They left, still in a good mood. Kio stood.

"Well, we probably should clean up." Soubi nodded. Ritsuka had fallen asleep not to long ago.

"I'll be right down." Soubi said. He shifted his weight and Ritsuka, and picked him up. He still couldn't believe how light he was. Soubi carefully took him upstairs to the bedroom, trying not to wake the sleeping boy. Soubi laid him down on the bed, and covered him with a blanket. Ritsuka hadn't woken, and that was a relief to Soubi. He kissed Ritsuka's forehead, and headed back downstairs to the kitchen. Kio was carrying dishes into the kitchen. Soubi pulled back his hair quickly and began to was them.

"Soubi," Kio whined. "You should pay attention to me." Soubi smiled.

"Kio, I don't think I could carry you."

"Whatever." Kio said, "Anyway, It was nice to have everyone hanging out. We should do it more often." Soubi nodded in agreement. "When are you planning on unpacking?"

"Hopefully I'll be done end of this week. I'd like to be able to have all my stuff out again." Kio nodded.

Outside was dark, lights were on, and a gentle rain was starting. The wind had died down. And the trees remained silent. Halos appeared around streetlights, there was very few people wandering the streets. The sky was hidden, gray clouds covered the blue. The moon couldn't shine through the clouds, and if the streetlights weren't on, it would have been almost black outside. Silent, invisible rain hit the earth below, causing everything to become wet.

"Soubi, it's nice to see you smiling again." Kio said, smiling himself. Soubi looked at Kio and chuckled a little.

"It's nice to know that." Soubi said. He really did appreciate Kio saying things like that, if it weren't for Kio, it is pretty obvious that Soubi would no longer be alive. Kio didn't know much about Soubi's past, no one did, but he was very understanding of what his friend had been through.

"Kio, thanks for all your help. I appreciate it." Kio grinned. They spent a couple more hours talking before Kio headed out. Giving Soubi a small warning about spending too much time with a high schooler. Soubi took the warning, but he didn't really need it. Soubi sighed out of relief, glad to have everyone out of the house. He was exhausted, he had woken up early to paint, and forgot that everyone was coming over. Plus, Ritsuka had been spending more and more time with him, and he was able to stay in the same bed finally. Soubi flipped off the lights and walked upstairs and pulled his hair down. He got himself ready for bed, trying to stay quiet. Ritsuka was sleeping, he looked adorable Soubi decided. He slid under the covers and laid down, trying not to disturb his partner, who was apparently awake anyway. Ritsuka turned over to look at him, who at the time was putting his glasses on the nightstand.

"Soubi..." Ritsuka said quietly.

"What is it?" Soubi said understandingly, as he always was.

"Thanks for letting me stay here for tonight."

"Your welcome to stay as long as you want, alright? Especially with your mother not being home." Ritsuka smiled.

"Night Soubi." Ritsuka said drifting off to sleep. Soubi fell asleep not long after.

Dawn approached, and as it came time for the sun to rise, the sky began to lighten and fill with many colors. Soubi awoke to the cool morning light drifting over Ritsuka's teenage shoulders. Ritsuka was breathing softly, pressed up against Soubi, looking adorable. Soubi shifted a little, trying not to wake his sleeping prince. Soubi began shuffling through his morning thoughts, which were disorganized and cluttered.  
Ritsu's teaching hadn't worn off, even after all these years, which begged the question if they ever would. His thoughts narrowed on Ritsuka, partly because he had shifted to stay warm in his sleep. He loved Ritsuka, not because of Seimei, not any more. Originally they were, to keep himself alive, to carry out his master's, no, not master, Seimei's final wish. But that didn't matter to him any longer.  
Their relationship seemed to be stuck in a hole, with Ritsuka not budging in what he allowed. He had decided on his own free will, that Ritsuka was more than just "another master" no, he was someone to love, to care about. Free will, he had lost most of that a long time ago, most things weren't done out of free will, though he wouldn't tell Ritsuka about it. Seimei, and Ritsu had broken him, of any hope of being an individual. But Ritsuka, he, alone, was bringing it back. That was all that mattered, Ritsuka rarely ordered him around, but his commands were powerful, his mind seemed to shift back to the other state.  
The part about himself that was miserable, but desirable. By sacrifices anyway. Soubi sighed, hoping that he wasn't just depressing himself again in the lost hopes of Ritsuka's love. He _knew_ Ritsuka cared about him, that had been established long ago. But did Ritsuka _love _him? He was sure that there was a reaction somewhere inside the boy. He wasn't much of a little kid anymore, acting more and more like an adult, even if he retained the little kid ears and tails that marked his innocence. Soubi didn't dare take them, not yet, not until the love was mutual. His long blonde hair slipped across his face, masking his almost disappointment.  
_'Gather yourself Soubi. Right now it doesn't matter.'_ He had gained that look that Ritsuka so blankly stared at, trying to gather his feelings. Impossible. He liked to keep himself more in the shadows than in the blatant spotlight so many stayed in. Ritsuka, also lurked among the shadows. What was is about his love that drew him in?  
He was intoxicating, that was for sure. His tall slender yet gently muscular body, his deep hair, this velvet eyes. They drew him in, that was for sure, but there was something beyond his appearance, something much deeper that played inside Soubi's heart. He'd decide it later, right now he had to enjoy the time Ritsuka didn't protest at being in his arms. It was rare, and precious.  
Those soft gentle breaths, almost caressing his skin. Ritsuka's ear twitched, followed by a soft flick of the tail. _'One day,' _Soubi thought_ 'They will become mine.'_ Quickly realizing what he had just thought, he almost punished himself. It wasn't good to be thinking about such things. Ritsuka would decide if they every became lovers or not. Soubi could only hope, and encourage. Ritsuka, being a teenager, 16, was plenty old enough to decide what he wanted. And unlike his brother, he wasn't afraid to make contact, to kiss, to embrace. More love than orders. But because Soubi was in love with Ritsuka, it made his every wish a simple task to complete.  
No orders were needed, the ever increasing bond between them took care of that. The bond, had not changed in months. It seemed to have his a rough spot, and Soubi, not wanting to proceed with out Ritsuka helping, did not make a move. He resisted from leaning over and kissing him all the time, he didn't make contact as much as he use to. The kiss the other afternoon was simply to remind him that he was safe, with just a tiny bit of self satisfaction, knowing Ritsuka wouldn't object. In fact, he seemed to rather enjoy it. Soubi could use this to his advantage later on, and quickly shuffled it into his mind.

"S-Soubi..." Ritsuka murmured, not noticing how close he was to his partner. He had woken up, finally.

"Good morning," Soubi said, smiling.

"Today is Saturday, right?"

"As far as I know, yes." Ritsuka groaned, in an unhappy manor. He had school today, luckily only a half day though. But still...he'd have to go through leaving Soubi. His eyes focused, to see Soubi's bare skin close, falling softly as he breathed. He looked up to see the warm gaze of two beautiful blue eyes, looking into his own. Ritsuka blushed a little. He didn't mean to, it wasn't the first time he and Soubi had slept in the same bed. Anytime Ritsuka stayed over and was in a good mood, or in such a terrible mood that he didn't care, they slept in the same room, same bed. Soubi seemed quite pleased with himself, and Ritsuka didn't mind either. He found it much better than being at home, alone and cold, usually hiding from his mother. In a year, he would probably move out, and in with Soubi, like he had promised.  
Soubi constantly worried about him when he was at home, even for a short time. Soubi, had saved Ritsuka a few times from his house. He was strong, but he refused to stand up to his mothers actions. Recently, Ritsuka's grandmother had fallen ill, and his mother was taking care of her. Soubi had invited Ritsuka to stay over. Soubi, smiling at Ritsuka's frustration, and though he wasn't the cause, he ran his fingers through his hair. It was soft, just gently flowing from his head, much like an angels.

"Soubi, you mind if I take a shower before school?" Ritsuka muttered face down into a pillow.

"Not at all," Soubi said, "You don't have to ask you know."

"I know...I still like to though." Soubi chuckled a little. Ritsuka pushed himself onto his knees, and looked over at his fighter, who was lying there, just grinning. He wasn't wearing his glasses that detracted from his eyes, Ritsuka had never noticed how different his face looked with out them. It was almost, new to him, his long lashes, his long hair gently draping over him. He felt himself blush a little.

"What is it Ritsuka?"

"Nothing. I was just thinking. That's all." Ritsuka said, shaking off this last thoughts. Soubi sat up, and pushed his hair behind his ears, almost in frustration. Sighing, Ritsuka stood up, and his tail flicked in the slightly, his face was still a little red, but that would go away. Ritsuka, gathered up his uniform, so he could change into it. He walked back over to Soubi, not really thinking. He leaned over, and kissed Soubi, before walking off and heading for the bathroom. Soubi just smiled, and once the younger boy left the room, he got ready for the day.  
Because the weather was warming up, Soubi's usual attire of long sleeves was put away until he needed them again. He wore them when it was cold, or brisk, but not while it was so hot. He also wore them when he was hurt, which was becoming more rare, since Ritsuka was becoming stronger. He still wore similar clothing during the summer, still candy colored and pastel, but they were lighter, better suited for the summer months. He gathered his long hair into a ponytail, it wasn't to much longer than it was a few years ago, but still it was a little longer. He shuffled downstairs to throw something together for breakfast.  
Meanwhile, Ritsuka gathered himself. The warm water hit his skin, it was relaxing. The steam helped clear his mind. He was so frazzled lately, nothing made sense. School was boring, his high grades didn't show how bored he truly was with school. Yuiko and Yayoi helped ease the pain of boredom. They were a handful.  
Soubi kept flooding his mind, making it impossible to focus on any one thing. He'd talk to Katsuko-sensei about it. He still visited his therapist, though it wasn't for the same reasons. Every two weeks, they would hang out together and talk, more like two close friends would. Of course, she still helped him with his problems, but since Soubi had been around, they decreased, and the hour long sessions became lighter, and more about other things.  
Ritsuka looked forward to them, he could clear his mind of other things, and he rarely thought of Soubi. He hadn't introduced his fighter to Katsuko-sensei, he needed to do that eventually. But what would he introduce Soubi as? His guardian? He sighed a little, and leaned against the pale tiling. It was cold against his skin, even though the shower was warm, borderline hot. His hair looked much longer when it was wet, much like Seimei's. He had never noticed it until someone else had pointed it out. He sighed, and pushed himself off the tiled wall and continued to clean up. He would have enough time to worry about such trivial matters later. Right now, he had to figure out how to get through school with out Soubi haunting his mind.  
He stepped out of the shower, not long after cutting of his thoughts, and dried off. Soubi was downstairs, in the kitchen. Ritsuka had gotten use to hearing the creaking of the floor below him, and could tell where people were in the house. Anyone could if they stayed somewhere long enough, it was a natural thing to do. Ritsuka looked in the mirror, the cuts from their last encounter had faded, and they hadn't scarred to badly at all. The deep one that ran across his abdomen was noticeable, but you had to be looking for it. Soubi dropped something which caused a bang, it startled Ritsuka, and taking a deep breath, he began to dress into his uniform.  
It consisted of four parts, navy-blue slacks, a white button down collared shirt, a blue jacket and a tie. For the summer, no one wore the jacket, and most kids left it at home. Ritsuka was one of those many. It was just too hot to wear them. He finished buttoning the top button on his shirt, and looked in the mirror, it was a decent look on him. At least he thought so, he usually wore long sleeves and pants all year round, he rolled up the sleeves during the summer on really hot days. The heat didn't really bug him any longer, neither did the cold. It was like he had adapted, and being a sacrifice, that was probably normal. He threw his tie around his neck, not tying it. He would later, he hated the stupid thing. He proceeded downstairs, knowing Soubi was waiting for him.

A/N: Well, I fixed the block text a little, I really hope it is easier to read now. I fixed a good portion of the mistakes as well :3  
Anyway, thank you for reading this far! It means a lot, and I hope you enjoyed it :D


	2. Chapter 2

Before note!

I just read through chapter one again, and found tons of errors, and places I'd like to fix. I will read through this chapter though! Please forgive all the errors and lenghtyness of the last chapter.

This one is a LOT shorter than the first chapter. lol Happened to be a good place to end.

**Final Word Count:** 3150

Thank you to everyone who is following the story, and reviewed, It really makes a difference (Hah. Look! I fixed the HUUUGE error I made! Thank you loretta537 or pointing it out. I completely missed that somehow.)

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Onto the Chapter!

Ritsuka enjoyed the final few moments in the steamy bathroom, that was keeping him warm, before he faced the cold air that loomed just outside the door. Sighing he opened the door and shivered a little as a blast of cold air rolled through the doorway, causing the steam to quickly recede into some unknown place. Ritsuka ran his left hand through his hair, and exited his warm hideaway. Ignoring the unmade bed and partly opened curtains, he moved downstairs. The upstairs was kept much darker than the downstairs, which was flooded with the morning sun. Today was a half day at school, which meant most of the day would be for relaxing, and being with Soubi. He hoped it would be a quiet day, the last thing he wanted was more stress in his life.

Ritsuka's feet made a small noise as his soft flesh met the hard wooden flooring that lined most of the house. He made his way to where he was pretty sure the kitchen was. Soubi hadn't exactly given him the grand tour, and it was mostly observation and luck that would get him around until he knew the floor plan. He found the kitchen, which was larger than he thought.

The hardwood floor continues into this room, and the walls were hardly viable. The counters were some sort of black stone. Oak cabinets were found on the walls, and under the counter tops. Some had glass fronts, others were just wooden panels. Paintings and plants added to the welcoming draw of the room. An island stood in the center area, covered in the same stone from the counter tops. Soubi sat at the island, drinking something. Most likely some sort of tea, Soubi didn't drink coffee in the morning. Something about ruining his pallet for the rest of the day. He usually had some at some point in the day, a lot of times at night.

"Ritsuka, help yourself to whatever, tell me if there is something your looking for."

"Right, thanks." Ritsuka made his way into the kitchen. The window on the back wall light the room, natural light added to the warmth of the kitchen. Ritsuka found the coffee Soubi had made him, and smiled. It was a nice thought, and a nice start to the day. He picked it up and grabbed one of the bananas that sat with the rest of the fruit. Soubi always had fresh fruit out on a small plate, for quick snacks. Ritsuka found Soubi reading, it was the newspaper. There was always something interesting going on somewhere in the world.  
Ritsuka settled himself on the stool next to Soubi, focusing on his coffee that was just begging to be drank. Soubi glanced over and smiled, seeing how the coffee he had made earlier had been found. Ritsuka had taken a pretty long shower, which gave him time to prepare little things such as his own tea, and a cup of coffee for his partner. Ritsuka found himself to focused in his own thoughts and his drink to even pay attention to whatever Soubi was doing. Soubi stood up, kissing the top of Ritsuka's head as he did. Ritsuka looked at Soubi, and smiled.  
Soubi had gotten up to put away his plate from his earlier meal, and pour himself more tea. He was thinking thorough his plans for the day. Just as he began to open his mouth to ask Ritsuka if he'd like him to pick him up this afternoon, Ritsuka spoke.

"Hey Soubi, no pressure or anything, but are you picking me up after school today?" Soubi chuckled a little, and Ritsuka looked confused.

"I was just about to ask if you'd like me to. Would you?"

"Yeah, I mean, it doesn't seem too," he paused. "Little kiddish?"

"No, it's not little kiddish, but don't forget you have a date with your therapist this afternoon."

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that. I have been ever since we moved it to Saturdays." he offered a small smile, feeling silly at his own mistake.

"Don't worry about it."

"And it's not a date, I mean it's not like I'd be chea-" he stopped himself mid-sentence, realizing what he was about to say.

"Ritsuka, you alright?" Soubi was walking over, and was slightly alarmed by the abrupt stop in the conversation. He had a good idea about what was going to be said, but he wouldn't push it.

"Yeah. I-I'm fine." Ritsuka blushed a little, and was obviously flustered by what he had said, and what he hadn't.

_'Shit. I can't afford another slip like that. It's not like we are together or anything.'_ Ritsuka thought to himself, sighing. Soubi sat down again, and looked at Ritsuka. He hadn't put on his glasses, and his hair was pulled back loosely, a sudden movement would knock it loose.

"So what would you like me to do?" Ritsuka took a sip of his coffee, and thought for a moment.

"What do we usually do?"

"You head over to her office after school, and I pick you up from the bus stop." Ritsuka nodded and paused again.

"I'd like for you to meet her at some point, I mean, your a big part of my life and all..." Soubi ruffled the smaller boy's hair, and kissed his cheek.

"Only when your ready for it. I'm not going to push you to do something your not comfortable with." Ritsuka nodded, and smiled. He looked over at this fighter.

"I'll arrange it for another time," Ritsuka said. _'Maybe when I finally understand just what you are to me.'_ Soubi smiled. Ritsuka went back to his coffee, and Soubi his reading.

"It's been a a long time since you've gone."

"Yeah, I missed the last session. Makes it a month since I've seen her." Soubi nodded, feeling guilty that Ritsuka had not gone because of him. "And don't pull that guilt thing on yourself. You were hurt, I had to stay." Soubi nodded in response, he didn't have anything to say. Not to mention, it was Ritsuka's way of ordering him around. Ritsuka glanced around for a clock, and upon finding it, he became alarmed.

"Shit. Soubi, I gotta run." He frantically began to move around the kitchen. Soubi looked at the clock, he still had about ten minutes until he had to leave. It only took a couple of minutes to walk there but, he knew Ritsuka, he had a reason, and probably didn't want to share.

"Anything I can do to help?" Soubi offered, trying to be useful.

"Not really, I'm pretty sure I know where everything is..."

"Alright. Let me take care of the kitchen, you go ahead."

"You sure?" Soubi nodded. "You rock, thanks. I'll owe you one." Soubi smiled, and headed over to Ritsuka who was washing his hands. Soubi wrapped his hands around Ritsuka's waist. Ritsuka turned to face his partner, looking a little surprised. He placed his hands on Soubi's shoulders, so he could push off if needed, he probably wouldn't though. At least he hoped.

"Soubi..." Ritsuka 'protested' in a small voice, not sure if he should be enjoying this, or be breaking all contact. Soubi sighed, and released his arms a little, knowing he shouldn't. Ritsuka was the one taking the next step. He looked up and kissed Soubi's cheek.

"Sometimes your too sweet for your own good," Ritsuka said walking off, sounding disappointed. Soubi stood there, still processing what had happened. The small boy had shown a sign of at least a little affection. That gave Soubi more of a reason to act again. He wouldn't do anything dramatic, but at least show that he wanted those little things. He wanted Ritsuka to do things like that. By the time Soubi began to walk out of the kitchen, Ritsuka was by the door, putting on his shoes, bag in hand. He walked over to the teen, who was opening the door to leave for school. Ritsuka, eyes closed turned to say goodbye, when his lips were suddenly caught by Soubi's.  
Soubi moved his hands to the boy's back, pulling him in. Ritsuka, melted into the kiss, it was almost as if he had lost control of himself. His hands slid along his fighters neck, and hung elegantly once they had reached the back. It was a passionate kiss, filled with indescribable feelings. Ritsuka's heart raced, he let himself act without thought, it would end if he thought about it. He would leave that moment, that warm, safe, romantic moment that was shattering all hopes of him being able to focus through class. Soubi pulled off slowly, his face not to far away yet, and Ritsuka almost protested. Ritsuka opened his eyes to find his partner grinning, obviously proud of himself.

"Pervert." He muttered pushing Soubi off and walking out the door. Soubi chuckled.

"Have a good day at school, I'll see you about 3?" He ignored the comment that had come just before, knowing nothing good would come if he said something witty.

"Yeah, don't be late."

"Love you, work hard."

"After that I don't think I'll be able to focus on anything else, thank you though." Ritsuka waved as he walked off, he was smiling. Soubi leaned against the door frame, the grin was now his warm, gentle smile. He watched until Ritsuka was out of sight. Sighing, he looked around. He would get to cleaning, and then try and get some unpacking done. The studio was yet to be set up, and he still had some paintings to get done. Muttering something in disgust at how much work had to be done, Soubi promptly began his endless list of things to get done.

Meanwhile, Ritsuka was walking off to his high school. Trying to pay attention, but also think. Why had Soubi let go in the kitchen, he had stopped himself, it's not like Ritsuka was struggling or anything. His fighter had been like that recently, he had avoided a lot of contact. Whenever he was around that is. For some reason, Soubi had just stopped seeing or talking to Ritsuka.

It was abrupt, and Ritsuka still didn't know why all of the sudden he had stopped. And even before that, Soubi had stopped holding him, stopped kissing him, little things Ritsuka was beginning to enjoy. He would ask later but right now he had to stop thinking about Soubi, he was taking over, flooding the teens mind. It was welcomed, but it needed to have a point where Ritsuka could think and not be reminded about his fighter. He reached up and touched his lips, in memory of what had happened in the doorway.  
He blushed a little. Ritsuka thought back to some of the moments Soubi had kissed him before, none of them could compare to what had happened just a few minutes ago. It begged the question, why all of the sudden? Was it because of what he did in the kitchen...oh god. Not only what he almost said, but what he had done. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it probably wasn't good either. He almost wished he could skip school and go talk with Katsuko-sensei. He had a lot on his mind, and needed someone he could trust to talk to.

"I could talk to Yuiko," Ritsuka muttered to himself, approaching the school. It then dawned on him what he had said. _'Bah, not Yuiko. She'd be crying right after I told her. She's no use in this situation. Though, Yayoi might be glad I did.' _Ritsuka thought, keeping his opinions in his head this time.

"Morning Ritsuka!" Yuiko called with her usual grin plastered on. Ritsuka shifted his gaze from the sidewalk to the high school girl. She had gotten very pretty in the last few years.

"Morning," He said, smiling. He had to be pleasant with her, even if his mind was on other things. He walked over to her, trying to keep his mind of of anything that would remind him of Soubi. To his surprise, it was actually really hard.

"How are you?" Yuiko asked.

"I'm alright, a little tired. How about you?"

"I'm great! I had the best thing for breakfast today, I don't even know what it was!" She grinned, and Ritsuka chuckled a little.

"Well, you should find out for me, I bet it was good." Yuiko smiled, a ray of hope had opened again.

"Alright! Just for you!"

"Hey guys," Yayoi asked, making his way over to the others.

"Morning, you look tired." Ritsuka commented. Yayoi glared a little.

"Yeah you do look like you didn't get much sleep. You up late working?" Yuiko asked.

"I'd like to say yes, but this new game came out and I couldn't pull myself away." Yayoi dropped his head in shame. Yuiko giggled while Ritsuka smiled. They enjoyed the few moments when they were all happy, they were becoming more frequent, but just as special. The warm summer air stirred natural emotions of joy, which made everything seem...better.  
The sunlight poured through the trees, creating patterns along the seemingly dull concrete. Ritsuka climbed up on the brick wall that surrounded the school. It wasn't too high, but it was off the ground, not to mention you could see the entire courtyard from there, and most of the sidewalk leading to the school. Trees lined the pathway, so that the other side of the street was hidden.

Ritsuka dusted off his hands, and noticed his friends were deep in conversation. He decided to let them talk while he enjoyed the warmth of the sun on his skin. The warmth was relaxing, and he closed his eyes and relaxed. The world around him seemed to disappear and become non-existent. His tail flickered a little, and settled out of the shade that seemed to be freezing compared to the sunlight. Luckily in the morning the heat wasn't hot, it was pleasant. It usually rained in the late afternoon, which cooled the blistering heat off.

Summer was a time for the beach, cold treats and hanging out with friends. Unfortunately they still had homework, which did get in the way a lot of times. It took a few days worth of time out of the schedule. Not to mention this summer might be interrupted by his grandmother's illness. He might be forced into traveling to Osaka for a funeral, or for visits. Maybe this would be a good time to introduce Soubi to his mother...but then again, maybe not.  
His mother had been strange and more abusive recently. He was glad she was gone, and that he was able to feel safe at home. Home, not where is mother lived, where Soubi was. That's what he thought of when he thought of home. He loved being at Soubi's house. It smelled of paints, smoke and cooking. And his fighter, that was the best part of being there. There was something about that smell that just made him feel safe, and at home. Which he had recently been able to understand. His friends always talked about their homes in an optimistic view, in a way that he was unable to talk about, or even understand.

"Hey Ritsuka, you okay?" Yuiko asked.

"Hmm?" Ritsuka didn't quite hear her. He opened his eyes and looked down at the other two.

"Looks like you were spacing again," Yayoi remarked.

"Yeah, I seem to be doing that a lot."

"You wanna talk about it? If it's important to you, it's important to us Ritsuka.

"Let's see about next time, right now I wanna forget about it." Yuiko and Yayoi gave each other exasperated looks, as if they had been working for nothing. And they had. Gaining Ritsuka's trust was not easy, it had taken years to get where they were, and the trust was still lacking. They trusted him, but hesitation was present whenever he had to rely on anyone but himself. Which was almost completely true.

There was a trust Ritsuka had for Soubi, which very few people saw, or had even heard of. Kio and some of the other fighter pairs were the only ones who knew of their romantic relationship, which Ritsuka hardly admitted to himself (though over the last year or so, he began to question to 'almost more that friendly' actions of Soubi.'). There was another trust basis that few were able to experience, and Ritsuka was one of them.

A trust between a fighter and sacrifice. The sacrifice had to trust the fighter, to protect them, to listen to orders and to win battles for whatever reason. The fighter simply takes the word of his sacrifice. No questions asked. And when to two parts were put together, it created a whole, two people as one. The bond was formed before birth, and was always there, and was simply awakened once they found each other. It was amazing, and many took it for granted. With the bond came great power, that took discipline to control.

There were schools worldwide that found fighters and sacrifices and helped. They provided an environment to grow, mentally and physically. It was a place to attend school, find yourself and partner, and fight other pairs for experience and skill building. At each school, the skill level varied. Which creates room for competition between students. It was a confusing topic for Ritsuka, because he didn't attend one, and Soubi wouldn't talk about it. With what seemed to be good reason. He acted...different when talking about the past. They usually didn't talk about Soubi's past because it was a painful topic for him. Kio seemed to be able to answer most of the important questions however.

"Alright, if your sure," Yuiko said, sounding a little disappointed that once again Ritsuka denied her offer. Yayoi looked at Yuiko, seeing her hurt, and then back at Ritsuka, noticing the steps backwards that he was taking. He had started pulling back from them. Ritsuka was beginning to be more open with them, being able to tell them more about himself. And now, well, he just seemed to be so out of it which was normal in class, but outside of that it wasn't normal at all.

"Thank gosh for half days." Yuiko muttered, trying to find something to talk about. She was hurt, and Yayoi wanted to comfort her.

"What's everyone doing after? We may be able to go hit some arcades if you want, and go for ice cream or something," Yayoi offered.

"I'd love to! That'd would be super fun!" Yuiko giggled.

"Have fun guys, I'd love to but..." Ritsuka said. "I've got an appointment. Though that does sound like a lot of fun."

"Boo!" Yuiko whined, "Alright, then it'll be just us two then," Yuiko said, trying to keep up her cheeriness, to some success. Yayoi smiled, and the two walked off, discussing plans for this afternoon. Ritsuka smiled, and hopped of the wall. He picked up his bag and noticed a red light on his phone. Smiling a little, he flipped open his phone.

_'Ritsuka_

_Have a good day at school, Love you'_

Ritsuka grinned, closed it and shoved it in his bag and proceeded into the school.

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**A/N:**Please forgive me for the really long space in between chapters. I'm soo lazy! Guess it can't be helped. SO I'm sorry about the horribleness of the last part, I was running out of ideas. What do you think so far? Because I'm still not completely happy with it. I hope this chapter had less errors. If you spot any, you should tell me, I don't have a beta for the story, because I like to edit my own writing. I probably should though. Anyway! I hope you enjoyed reading!

Thank you for reading :3 I will have the next chapter out within the week. It shall be better. (Lies! I will have it up soon! I know it!)


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! Here is the next chapter, and I shall NEVER handwrite and then type it again. I got lazy :3 Silly me. I actually finished writing this chapter a few weeks ago...and I'm just now posting it. I'll work on that not being lazy thing. I'll get to it. Eventually.

Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers and those who are following the story! I owe a lot to you guys. :D Enoy this chapter!

Onto the chapter!

School had been boring, dragging on forever. Even though Ritsuka had been fighting thoughts of Soubi, they seemed to win over, leaving Ritsuka to his memories and questions. It was a long few hours for Ritsuka. The final bell rang, and relief washed over all of the students. They were done for a while. They would be back on Monday, for the final week of school before summer break. Everyone was looking forward to a break. Ritsuka stood up and grabbed his things, Yuiko had already left. Figures, she had a date with Yayoi. He was hoping that she'd realize how much Yayoi cared for her, and they could be together. It would be good for everyone. Yayoi would finally be with Yuiko and she could have someone who loves her more than anything. And Ritsuka wouldn't have to worry about hurting her because of Soubi. It worked out for everyone. He sighed and left the classroom, making his way out to his appointment. No one stopped him, he didn't fit within any of the groups. He found his own way, usually as a loner. His only two friends at school were Yayoi and Yuiko, but the way they became friends was questionable. But he wouldn't bog himself down with such thoughts. He should trust them, they trusted him.

_But it seemed impossible..._

Exiting the school, he watched just what was in front of him not caring or noticing the other students around him. They were to busy with stupid things anyway. The grounds were filled with students, but nothing Ritsuka couldn't navigate through quickly. Once he was out of the gates, he saw Yuiko and Yayoi headed the other direction, laughing and talking about something. Ritsuka smiled and continued in the other direction. He hoped they would have a good time. He knew they would. It was a nice afternoon to take a walk. It wasn't hot yet, though in a few hours it would be. A gentle breeze blew Ritsuka's hair and caressed his skin. He smiled a little, it felt good. The cool air seemed to be coming, hopefully bringing a good rain storm with it. The bus stop wasn't far, and was a short walk and once he arrived, he found a place in the shade.

He began to go over things he wanted to talk about. Not being able to trust his friends, his mother and the situation they were in, where he was living...and something about Soubi. He was so confused over what he had with Soubi and whether it was healthy or not. Soubi loved him, which was something Ritsuka had never fully understood, growing up where he did. His mother had taught him love in a negative way, especially after the death of his brother. The relationship he had with his brother, had come to light. Who his brother was outside of their house. It was sick, and yet Ritsuka found it hard to hate him, he loved his brother. But after what he did to Soubi, it was wrong, it was sick. And he could not be forgiven.  
Soubi took it in a different manor than everyone else had though. He saw it in an equally sick way, it wasn't abuse to him. It was the bond they had. Ritsuka had shown Soubi a new way of being a fighter, one with more love, and more understanding between the two. Even if their bond wasn't complete. You think after so long they would be considered a pair, Soubi had even started using 'Loveless' as his name. It meant a lot to Ritsuka, it made Soubi that much more his. He smiled at the thought, Soubi was not longer his brothers, no, he was his and nothing could change that. The only thing that worried Ritsuka was that to Soubi, Seimei's word was law. Ritsuka wondered what would happen if they met. Who Soubi would obey? His brother or him? Ritsuka sighed a little, just praying that his wishes came before his brother's.  
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as the bus arrived. He had a pass for the year, and was able to ride where ever he had to go. He found a spot near the middle and watched out the window as it headed towards the medical plaza. It was about 15 minutes away, and gave Ritsuka some time to relax before he had to talk to Katsuko. It really was a nice day out, and it wasn't hot yet. The clouds weren't white, but more of a light grey. They were a bit denser than they had been in a few days, suggesting rain.

The stop before Ritsuka's a girl looking a little bit younger than him boarded. He looked at her face and saw a cut across her left cheek. Though she had smiled as she got on, it was obvious that something was worrying her. Before he even had a chance to approach her, they had pulled up to his stop. She had caught his attention, and was now slipping away. Ritsuka almost ruefully got off the bus and walked away. She watched him as he got off, he was obviously of interest to her as well. Walking off of the bus Ritsuka decided to forget about the girl from the bus for now. He hoped to run into her again, but chances were slim. There were a lot of people in Tokyo. He sighed. Over the 15 minute bus ride, it had heated up quite a bit. He walked a little faster than usual, trying to escape the summer heat.

The plaza was large, and had a garden like area in front of the building. Ritsuka loved sitting near the fountain before or after an appointment. It was in the center of the garden area and was a calming place to sit. Soubi waited here sometimes too. Both of them enjoyed the garden area. Soubi got inspiration for one of his paintings. Ritsuka hadn't seen it yet, due to the fact that Soubi was still painting it. He was 'perfecting the details', and wouldn't allow Ritsuka to see it yet. Soubi had this new habit of painting Ritsuka, and would work for weeks trying to bring all of Ritsuka into the painting. Ritsuka only knew of one of these painting, but Kio had told him that Soubi was greatly inspired and had painted a couple.  
Kio seemed to find enjoyment out of flustering Ritsuka.

Now he wasn't as good at Soubi was, but could get a reaction out of him. It could be frustrating with both of them in the same room. Both Kio and Soubi had sharp minds, and could think fast. Nights when Kio came over could be both amusing, but could also be tormenting. But usually they were fun, with a light atmosphere. Ritsuka walked through the garden, not making his usual stop at the fountain, and walked into the building and up the stairs to the waiting room. He sat down in his usual spot, where he could see the clock, and those who came in. He checked in with the receptionist and sat down in the all to familiar room. The walls were painted a burgundy color, which was suppose to be relaxing. Windows around the room pulled in natural light, while there was lighting recessed into the ceiling. They were turned off or set to a dim setting during the day. The reception desk was off to the side. Katsuko shared a building with 2 other psychologists. They were both nice, but Ritsuka preferred Katsuko. He would visit the other two if she was out, but they didn't really know him or what he'd been through. The clock drew his attention once again and he returned to watching it drag along.

"Aoyagi?" The receptionist called. He stood up. "Katsuko will see you now." He sighed and walked back to her office, bag still slung over his shoulder. The hallway down to her office was also familiar, never changing from visit to visit. He opened the door at the end of the office. The room behind the door was very familiar, he had spent a lot of time in it.

"Afternoon Sensei."

"Ritsuka, it's nice to see you again." She smiled and turned from her computer to face him. "How've you been?"

"I've been...alright. How about you?" He asked as he plopped down in the couch for patients.

"I've been good. I missed you last session."

"I was taking care of someone, sorry I couldn't make it."

"Don't worry about it. How are you feeling?" Ritsuka was a mixture of feelings, somewhere between being confused, upset and excited. Just all jumbled together. He decided to go with a safe answer.

"I've just got a lot on my mind right now."

"That's why we're here. What's up?"

"I don't really know where to start..."

"How about your situation at home?"

"Well, my mom is out of town again. I don't know when she'll be home this time either. If she comes home at all."

"Do you know where she is?"

"In Osaka, taking care of my grandmother."

"Ah. Did she leave you without a caretaker?" Ritsuka paused. She had left him with no warning and no one to look after him. Soubi had taken him in, insisting that he stayed with him.

"Yeah, but I'm staying with a friend who took me in for the time being."

"I can't believe she just left you. That's a little ridiculous. How did she tell you?"

"She left a note on the door. I don't really mind though. She's gotten worse over the last few weeks. It's been hell in the house to put it lightly."

"How so?"

"She's just...gotten more...abusive. And each time becomes worse, nothing serious, but I'm afraid it will be soon if she keeps up her pattern. And when she's not being violent, she just forgets I'm around. Or forgets who I am."

"Have you told anyone about it?"

"Just you and the friend I'm staying with." She nodded and wrote somethings down.

"I've been thinking about leaving, but at the same time I don't know if I do. She'd be alone and I don't know if she could handle that. But..."

"But?" She looked up at him.

"I'm sick of being abused, I have to lie to everyone. It's taking a toll on my personality."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've becoming more withdrawn again, I've lost interest in a lot of things and I space out a lot. My friends have expressed concern over it. I've been coming to school hurt a lot more often too. And I know people are starting to get suspicious." She began writing again, leaving the room quiet. Once she had finished, she looked up.

"Ritsuka, I can't make that decision, no one can. At best we can only offer our opinions. You should do what you want. Though, if you want my opinion, I think you should leave."

"Why do you say that? You know what my mother would be like."

"Yeah, but in this situation, your the victim. Your safety is more important to me." She paused. Ritsuka stayed silent. "Now why I think you should leave is the abuse. That's a big part of it. It's wrong, and shouldn't be happening. It's just not a good environment to grow up in. Not to mention the fact that she can't or doesn't think of you as a son, then what's the point of even living there? Of course, if you leave, there are some papers she has to sign. Kidnapping charges are a very bad thing to face. The papers would be to transfer the guardianship. If they aren't signed, and you decide to go through with leaving legally, you'd be placed in a foster home, and who knows where'd you end up. You might even end up with your father, if he's alive anyway." Ritsuka looked down at the floor and closed his eyes, not saying anything. Katsuko watched him.

"If we got her to sign the papers, would I leave? What if she came for me?"

"You'd leave, yes. And if she came for you, and took you, she'd be charged with kidnapping. If your still thinking, you don't have to decide now. Take your time, and let me know when your ready. I want you to be completely sure. It would change everything." He nodded a little, deep in though over what he wanted to do. Maybe Soubi could help guide him in the right direction. For now, he just wanted to forget about it.

"I'll think about it. I just need some time."

"Alright, then tell me about this friend of yours. It was very nice of them to take you in." Ritsuka shifted his gaze back to  
her. "They are obviously taking good care of you." She smiled. Ritsuka laced his hands together and set them against his mouth and sighed. Soubi... he had to talk about him. He wanted to. He was important, and Katsuko deserved to know who he was. He took a deep breath and began.

"His name is Agatsuma Soubi, he frequently takes care of me when I have to be out of the house. Or whenever my mother leaves."

"Agatsuma...Soubi..." She shuffled through some files, muttering the name over and over. A look of success spread across her face as she pulled one out. "I knew I had heard his name before. You know Kaido Kio, right? They are friends as far as he concerned.

"Kio is...something else." Ritsuka relaxed into his seat again, his hands moved from his mouth and onto his lap. His thumbs moved, as if they were removing the tension he had.

"He did seem a little...eccentric. He visited me once or twice. Those were very interesting sessions."

"Yeah, I know. Kio can be strange, but I guess he has a sane side. He just...rarely uses it." She giggled a little.

"Anyway, let's talk about Soubi a little. What does he do for a living?"

"Mainly he's an artist. But he works part time as a teacher. He does a few other things in his spare time. I think he's an aspiring chef too, but he disagrees."

"A master of fine arts then? What medium does he work in?"

"Oil paints."

"How interesting. And he can support you off of what he makes?"

"Yeah, not only does he save money well, he also is just about to open gallery." She nodded. "He also received a large sum of money when his parents passed away. He makes sure I have everything I need."

"How old is he?"

"A little less than 7 years older than I am. So he's about" Ritsuka stopped to think about it. "About 24 now."

"How long have you known each other?"

"Four years." Ritsuka smiled as memories flooded back. _'Four wonderful years with him, together.'___

"How did you meet each other?"

"My brother introduced us," Ritsuka said, it was the truth. It was a strange way to meet, especially by then his brother had left. But it was Semei who ordered Soubi to take care of him. Things had changed since then.

"Four years ago? Your brother died 6 years ago."

"I know, it's complicated at best. Anyway, Soubi is one of the few people I trust for some reason. I don't even trust my friends."

"Really? That's interesting. What separates Soubi from them?"

"I don't honestly know, I always feel so safe when I'm with him. It's funny, I'm happy with him. I don't really understand," Ritsuka sighed. Katsuko nodded and began writing.

"So tell me, what's your relationship with him?" She asked calmly, not even looking up.

"Ehh?" He was caught off guard by her question. He had to stop and think about what they were to each other. He couldn't say that they were 'master' and 'servant', nor could he say that they were fighter and sacrifice. No, those wouldn't do. They weren't dating, despite what Kio thought. Kio was sure that they were, in his mind they had to be. It had something to do with the change he saw in Soubi and Ritsuka over the time they knew each other. Every time he brought it up, Ritsuka only denied, not giving it any thought. Soubi never said anything more then 'Ritsuka is right Kio.' nothing more than that. That had to mean something, right? But the way Soubi said it...it was cold, flat, like he spoke around someone he didn't trust, or know. It gave Ritsuka chills when he spoke in such a manner, especially if it was for more than a few sentences. Soubi spoke in a different manner when he was being friendly, when he was talk to friends, or Ritsuka's friends. Then there was another set of tones he used, those he used when talking to Ritsuka, presumably Seimei, and Ritsu. And he even spoke to them in a different way than he spoke to anyone else. It was amazing to see how one person could have so many ways of talking to people.

Soubi was a calm person, he thought logically and acted off of his logic and not his emotions. He rarely showed his emotions, but Ritsuka could see through him. Ritsuka could see his frustration, his misery, his pain, his joy, everything. Well almost everything. For one, Soubi rarely got angry or upset. It had happened once, and Ritsuka had tried to forget the sound of Soubi raising his voice, it was frightening, and it wasn't even pointed at him. He took everyone by surprise, no one had heard Soubi yell. And for a good reason. He was meant to be a calm person, and yes, he could get upset and yell, but everyone liked him better when he was calm. That was for sure.  
Ritsuka stopped rambling to himself, and got his thoughts back on the question at hand. What was their 'relationship'? Ritsuka had already ruled out a few but still didn't have an answer. Soubi was his guardian, right? That was all he was. No...he wasn't though, he was much more than that. They weren't dating, it wouldn't go as far as that. In truth...

"I don't know. I really don't," he admitted after a few minutes of thought. She looked up from her writing, and set down her pen.

"Alright, let me rephrase this. How do you feel about him?"  
Ritsuka looked away from her and began rubbing a cut from his mother. Soubi had bandaged it and while doing so and snuck in some kisses. It actually made the pain of pulling out a piece of glass out of his flesh a lot more pleasant.

"I ask only because you said that you trusted him. He has to be something special. You've known your friends for that long, and you still don't trust them. It's a big step, and an important one."

"Yeah, but it's confusing, at the same time."

"How so?"

"Well, when I'm with Soubi, I feel safe, and warm, like nothing can harm me. I don't understand the feeling really, he cares about me, a lot, and I've never really felt that before."

"Well, does he love you?" he sighed. Soubi said it, plenty of times. At first, Ritsuka didn't believe it, especially when he found out it was an order from his brother. But as time passed he began to understand that it was no longer just an order from his brother. It became...real. It was little things in Soubi's behavior, things that people who weren't around him wouldn't notice. Ritsuka noticed these, and it was most noticeable when it was just the two of them. Soubi loved him, and that was obvious.

"Yes...I know he does." She smiled and nodded.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"No...I just...I don't want to upset him," Ritsuka said and his ears drooped a little and his tail flickered.

"Hmmm...alright. Think about if for a minute, has he ever gotten angry over your opinion before?" Ritsuka shifted his gaze to the window and sighed. _'Soubi has gotten frustrated with me once or twice, but never angry He's always so...glad when I give him my input. When we first met, Soubi told me he'd give me everything because he loved me. He became my fighter. I didn't believe him back then, but now...'_ Ritsuka's mind filled with memories of being with him. Their kisses, the nights they spent laying next to each other, times they just sat together (Ritsuka ended up on his lap a lot of these times), the times Soubi had held him in his arms not willing to let go, there were the fights they had with other units. Soubi had protected him at any cost. Soubi took care of him when he was sick or hurt, or just needed to be comforted. Ritsuka was always there for Soubi when the time came, Ritsuka would spend days just sitting next to Soubi as he slept. They had been through so much together, and nothing came in there way.

Emotions swirled through Ritsuka, as if he had been placed in a blender and his emotions and thoughts he suppressed were thrown in. He was face to face with them, and he couldn't find a way to escape. The top seemed so far from where he was. However, if he gave up now, if he surrendered to them, they would take over. All the progress he had made would be lost, and Soubi couldn't save him this time.

The images flooded back, and lulled Ritsuka into a sense of security for now.

"Alright, 'fess up Ritsuka, what have you two done?" Ritsuka was shaken back to reality.

"Where'd that come from?"

"That look on your face! You can tell me, I won't say anything to anyone. Promise." Ritsuka did hope that she wasn't sharing things with other people anyway.

"We've...we've just kissed alright?" Ritsuka said, sounding embarrassed. His face agreed and as Ritsuka felt his face heat up, he dropped his head.

"Your so cute when you blush! Your so red!" She squealed. His face reddened even more at her comment. She grinned, and suppressed her giggles. She got up and walked over to Ritsuka's side. She kneeled and rested her hand on his knee.

"So, since we've established he has feeling for you, I'll ask again. How do you feel about him?" With a little hesitation, Ritsuka began to speak.

"Well...sometimes when he looks me in the eye, it's as if he can see straight into me.." He paused. His gaze was still at the floor. Her smile faded, listening with great care. "And I feel like it's swallowing me, my emotions, my thoughts...everything I am. I ...get flustered...and confused to the point where I have to look away. Because..I'm afraid that I'll loose who I am, everything I thought I was. I don't want him to come back, I'm here now, this is who I am and every time I look him in the eyes, I feel like I'm going to loose that, and I'm terrified. I have to look away, I don't know what else to do. I've tried to figure it out, but..." he sighed. "Well, I just don't know." the room lapsed into silence, only being interrupted by the ticking of the clock. Katsuko caressed his cheek down to his chin and tilted his head up gently her hand. She brushed the hair out of his face and his violet eyes me her eyes, and began to speak. Her hand held his cheek, as if it was telling him not to move.

"Listen up kiddo. The biggest obstacle to establishing a homosexual relationship is whether or not your inclined to said relationship or not. A lot of people find themselves having problems accepting it. Your not alone, trust me. By letting him kiss you more than once, I'm assuming it was, was it?" He nodded, blushing slightly. "Okay, him kissing you repeatedly, and you letting it happen, you've shown that your not exactly adverse to the notion...or the attraction. So really, if the body's willing, then all that's left is your feelings, your mind." She paused, "And that's not exactly easy either." He nodded again and sighed. He wasn't alone, which he found some consolation in.

"Society doesn't accept it very well..."

"It's getting better though. But don't let anyone else stop you." He nodded. "Now I don't know Soubi myself, but from what I've heard from your not exactly turned off by the fact that he's male. It seems you have feelings for him, that seem to run deep withing you." Ritsuka closed his eyes an but his lip. "If you think about it, I know you'll understand what I'm saying is the truth. On another note, you know that's it's not that you don't want to be drawn to him. No, it's not that at all. It's that your scared, terrified that you'll fall head-over-heels for him and be forced to face everything you are, everything you have been. And about a year or so ago, you said that if you had to do that, you may loose who you are now, and return to being your old self.

"But, you don't seem to understand that it's not fair to make the person on the other side wait because of your scared or because your trying to fool yourself. And honestly, if you don't want to pursue anything more than a friendly, non-romantic relationship with him, then don't, tell him how you feel, and what you think things will work out and you may be able to be friends. However, if you've kept him hanging on for nothing, all your doing is breaking his spirit...and him." Ritsuka looked at her, his eyes longing and trying to hold back the tears that were wanting to flow.

"It's not easy to be on the other end of the relationship, to have to keep waiting and praying and holding onto someone who won't let you in. Trust me...I know." Her engagement ring glimmered a little as she looked at it smiling a little.

"Sensei..." He barely choked out fighting the lump in his throat and the tears. She nodded and opened her arms a little, inviting him into her embrace. He took it and fell into her arms, giving up the fight and letting everything pour out. Emotions had been thrown under a rug, and had just built up to the point where he couldn't take it any longer. The anger and fear from his mother, the confusion and everything that had happened with his brother, all the lies he told. And Soubi, his heart seemed to fill with so many emotions, Ritsuka couldn't stand it. He also found himself upset over his old self, and his new self. He found so many flaws in himself. It drove him crazy, and he didn't know how to fix anything. He didn't feel he could.  
_I'm so sorry Soubi..I didn't...know.'_ Ritsuka had lost all confidence, all of his strength and couldn't hold back his emotions. So much had happened in the last few years, it was hard for him to understand. He had been holding everything in for so long, everything had just been built up, and he finally let it all go. Katsuko held him until he calmed minutes later. She ran her fingers through his hair and let him release everything inside. And once he was calmed, he pulled away from her arms, the last few tears rolled down his cheeks. She let him slid out, giving no resistance, though she wanted to pull him in and hold him, much like a mother would with her own child.

"I...I'm sorry," he choked out weakly, his voice shaky.

"No, don't be. You needed it. Do you feel better?" She smiled a little, and he nodded and wiped away the tears.

"I should go..." He stood up. She glanced at the clock and got up herself, the session was a few minuets from being over.

"Do you have a ride?" He nodded. "Alright then, I won't keep you. But please, call me anytime if you need to talk, I will make room for you whenever you need it, you have my cell number right?"

"Yes, thank you." He smiled a little. His voice was returning to it's usual calmness.

"Think over what I said, see you next time?"

"Will do, and yes, I'm planning on it. I'll call you if something comes up. Thank you, again." He bent over and grabbed his bag.

"No biggie kiddo, anytime. Take care now," She said smiling and sitting at her desk. He walked out and waved behind him. Concerned for the teen, she watched him and sighed. Ritsuka was strong, but he was facing more than any teen should have to. He was so young...nothing could change that, even if he acted so much older than he was. He was still a kid, and no one could change that. And no one should try to take that from him.

"Take good care of him Soubi, he really loves you, and really needs you right now." She smiled and rested her head in her hands. "You've captured his heart, something no one else could do...He's so in love with you." She sighed and began to write about the session.

Ritsuka left the office, rushing out not wanting anyone to stop him. He pulled out his cell phone and as soon as he was out of the building he called Soubi. (He was Ritsuka's speed dial 1 if you were wondering) Soubi answered the phone after the first ring.

"Hello?" Soubi had obviously just picked up and answered the phone.

"It's me, where are you?" Ritsuka wandered out of the plaza to the main gates.

"On my way, I'll be there in a few. Hold tight. You sound upset, you alright?" Ritsuka was surprised that Soubi could tell from over the phone.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll see you in a few." Ritsuka hung up the phone, not wanting to talk at the moment. Soubi would be here soon, and he had to appear more calm then he was. Soubi smiled at the abruptness of Ritsuka's actions. The teen was upset, and he decided not to push his luck. The bus was a few minutes from the bus stop. It wouldn't be long before they were together.

**A/N** Sorry for the delay in this post, I'm so lazy :D Thank you for reading all the way through, and following what's up so far. I hope it was decently easy to read. Sorry for any errors, I'm good at making them.

Again, thank you to all of you who have reviewed, and/or are following the story! It means a lot!

I'm off to write and get this song out of my head


	4. Chapter 4

Woo! Chapter 4! Finally! I hope you enjoy!

* * *

The bus ride home was uneventful, and Ritsuka was quiet as he usually was after a session with Katsuko. Soubi understood, and only talked when it was necessary making sure that Ritsuka started most of the conversations for awhile after. He figured the teen needed time to think about whatever they had talked about. Some days were better than others, it took a careful study of his mood to figure out what kind of day it was, and Soubi was proud to say he was getting pretty good at it.

The only conversation that came up was Soubi asking Ritsuka if he needed anything, it was cold and looking like it was going to storm. No sense running in the rain if you could get things on the way home. Ritsuka smiled a little and shook his head and then went back to gazing out the window. The ride became quiet once again.

Once they had reached Soubi's condo, it was obvious the moment they entered that Soubi had been busy during the day. He had done loads of unpacking, making it seem more like a filled space and not an empty room.

"Looks good," Ritsuka muttered as if he was half there. Soubi smiled and kissed the top of his head. It was one of _those_ days, Soubi knew to give him some space. He did wonder what was going on in Ritsuka's head.

"Thanks, I'll finish up later. I'm glad you like it though." Ritsuka nodded. It seemed...warmer than it did this morning when he left. It felt lived in, and yet was beautiful. Paintings colored the walls, while furniture gave the room atmosphere. Everything was interesting alone, but blended into one room perfectly.

"Ritsuka, I have a little bit of work to get done, I'll be in the studio if you need me alright?"

"Okay," he said smiling. Soubi returned the smile and lightly kissed him and headed upstairs. Ritsuka sighed as soon as he was out of sight. He really wanted to lay down and relax for a few minutes. He decided to get water and something to eat before he went upstairs. He made his way into the kitchen, noticing a flier for Soubi's gallery. Ritsuka smiled, he was happy for Soubi, there was short time until it opened. That time would fly by..

Once he was finished, he headed upstairs and flopped down on the bed belly first. He grabbed Soubi's pillow and held onto it. It smelled of him, and was comforting in a way he couldn't explain. He needed to talk to Soubi about a few things, but wasn't sure how he would do so. He wanted to tell Soubi about how he wanted to leave his mother, and live here, in Soubi's home. It was basically his house anyway, but legal things had to be worked out. Ritsuka was sure he wouldn't say no, but he wanted to make sure it. It would be a big step in their relationship.

Their relationship, that was another matter. Ritsuka had thought about it, and still needed time. He would come to a conclusion soon enough and that would have to be good enough for everyone. He wondered what people would think if they found out, how would his friends react? He knew there were people out there who shared similar worries, but most of them had gotten over it. They were brave, and strong. Did that make him weak though? It wasn't a big deal, but he wanted to be strong and independent, but never had been able to do anything more than act. It was frustrating, but Ritsuka had stopped letting it worry him. He had more important things to worry about. Of course, that didn't mean the worry was gone, it was still there, it just took something to bring it out again.

Ritsuka groaned into the pillow. He turned his head and looked out onto the balcony. The drapes covered most of the glass doors, but there was a place where Ritsuka could look out. It was getting dark, the storm would come soon. He liked the rain, he found it relaxing for the most part. The sound caused him to be drowsy, and the smell was almost as nice as Soubi's. It used to be his favorite scent, but had been replaced and pushed to a close second. He hoped it would rain soon, it might be the only thing that could calm his restless mind.  
He put his face into Soubi's pillow and tried to relax. Ritsuka had tomorrow off, and then he went for the final days of school before summer. It would be nice to spend a summer with someone who loved him. Yuiko and Yayoi wanted to hang out over the summer, they didn't want to fall apart too much. Ritsuka agreed to hang out as often as he could. If complications with his grandmother came up, he was expected to be part of the family, for the time being anyways. With any luck, Ritsuka would be able to move out and away from his mother before summer was over. He wondered what his father would think, he wasn't all that important but still. The summer was proving eventful, even before it started. Not to mention Soubi's gallery was opening soon, which was exciting for both of them.

At some point in Ritsuka's thoughts, Soubi had sat on the bed next to him. Probably grinning like he usually does. Ritsuka felt Soubi's hand rubbing his back under his shirt. It felt good, Soubi's hand was warm against Ritsuka's slightly cold back.

"You must be cold Ritsuka."

"Not any more..." Ritsuka murmured and Soubi smiled a little. The boy squirmed a little, and Soubi got the hint and removed his hand. Ritsuka rolled over and sat up, he looked at Soubi and leaned against his shoulder. He wanted to be close to him, that's all that mattered. To be close to him.

"You alright Ritsuka?"

"Yeah...I've just got a lot on my mind."He closed his eyes and relaxed. "I'm just trying to decide what to do."

"About what?" Soubi pressed for a little bit of information, not wanting to upset him, but wanting to understand.

"My mom," Ritsuka sighed and Soubi nodded. "You smell like paint Soubi."

"I just finished painting, can't help it." Ritsuka smiled a little.

"You finish your project?"

"Yeah, I did actually."

"When do I get to see it?"

"Whenever you'd like, it's in the studio. I'm not fully happy with it but then again I never am."

"Your too picky, that's all." Soubi was about to respond when the phone rang. "You should go answer the phone." Ritsuka said shifting off of his shoulder. Soubi nodded, and started to leave. As soon as Soubi was out of sight, Ritsuka flopped on his back and sighed. Things were so slow, and he was getting tired. Soubi seemed tired too, he worked hard all day. Hopefully they would be able to go to bed earlier then they usually did on Saturdays.

Soubi's voice echoed through the quiet house, he was talking to someone. Probably Kio calling and asking for something, or inviting them to do something. Kio had accepted that Ritsuka and Soubi were joined at the hip and if you invited one, you should make the offer for the other to come as well. Kio had also started getting to be friends with Ritsuka, so it wasn't a big deal anymore. His thoughts were interrupted by a yawn proving he really was tired. He wanted to crawl under the covers with Soubi and rest for the night. For now, he would have to try and stay awake for a bit longer, he wanted to see the rain.

The air started to cool off, it didn't feel all that much cooler due to the humidity that came with summer. Especially before a storm, things almost became unbearable. Ritsuka got off of the bed to go change out of his uniform. It was uncomfortable for the most part, and he just hadn't had the chance to change since he had gotten home. The wood floor was surprisingly cold against his feet, it sent shivers through his body as his flesh first met the floor. Shaking it off, he gingerly walked across the cold floor. He shuffled through his clothing, trying to find something to wear and once he found something suitable, he began to change. His pants slid off with ease, and slipping into his jeans was just as easy. His tie also came off easier than he had expected, he always had issues getting it off. He began to unbutton his shirt, but found his hands to shaky to do anything that required coordination or small movements. He muttered in disapproval and tried again, with the same results. He leaned against the wall and sighed. Why was he shaking? There was no reason for him to be, and it was only irritating at best.  
Soubi came upstairs, and saw Ritsuka against the wall, eyes closed and his ears flat against his head. He walked over, apparently silently, and kissed the boy's cheek. It must have startled him because he jumped a bit and his eyes shot open.

"Jeez Soubi, you scared me."

"Sorry, thought you heard me coming up the stairs."

"I didn't," He said relaxing again. Soubi noted the shirt in his hand, and smiled a little.

"Buttons giving you issues tonight?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. Guess I'll just leave it on," he said with hints of disgust in his voice. Soubi kissed Ritsuka's other cheek and smiled.

"You know, you could ask for help. I would be more than happy to help you."

"I know, your far to eager," Ritsuka teased. "But I guess I could use some help, my hands are really shaky tonight." Soubi smiled and swept the teen into a kiss. He got to feel Ritsuka tense up, and then slowly relax in his arms. His soft lips were warm, and much like those of an angels. Then there was his movements, shy and reserved. They were gentle, but they were proof that Ritsuka felt something for him, which gave him hope. Not to mention, a big ego boost as he realized that the cute little teen that held onto him was all his whether Ritsuka knew it or not.

Pressed against the wall, Ritsuka braced himself by holding onto the corner with his hand, the shirt he was holding fell to the ground. His hand that wasn't holding onto the wall to support him clung onto Soubi's shirt. He felt Soubi's hands against his chest, they were unbuttoning his shirt just as easily as his other clothing had come off. Why was it that his shirt was the only thing that hadn't come off? Was it symbolic for something? He was reading too much into it. It was because his hands were shaky. But, why were his hands shaky? He was barely able to support himself now, but that was because of Soubi's kiss. It was as overwhelming as the one earlier that morning. There was something different about this one though. It seemed...more meaningful. It was filled with more passion, more desire from both of them. Ritsuka wouldn't admit his want, his need for Soubi. No, he couldn't He just wasn't ready for that. Was he?

Luckily for him, this thoughts were interrupted as Soubi broke the kiss and began kissing his half bare chest. It was too much for Ritsuka to take. He became warm, as if Soubi's body heat was melting with his own. The hand that was holding onto Soubi pressed against the wall, it was holding him up. He couldn't stand on his own, not anymore. His mind went blank and his eyes closed as Soubi kissed his flesh. He hadn't experienced anything like this before. Soubi's lips made there way back up to his own lips again. His shirt was unbuttoned completely, but neither of them wanted the moment to end. Ritsuka's body seemed to move on it's own, his hands passed through Soubi's silky blonde hair while Soubi's hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him off the wall, holding his lower back gently yet firmly with his arms and hands.

As Soubi gained entrance into Ritsuka's mouth, some how the two of them ended on the bed with Ritsuka pressed against the mattress and Soubi holding himself above the teen. Ritsuka let his feelings take over, there was no need for thought, he was floating in what seemed to be heaven. Both of them wanted it, they both knew it, but uncertainty had stopped both of them from acting upon their wants. Ritsuka slid his hands up Soubi's shirt, not wanting to fiddle with the buttons on his shirt.

Soubi pulled off from the kiss, and looked down at Ritsuka. His cheeks looked flushed, and the heartbeat coming from below was rapid. Golden curtains hung from his own head and brushed across the teen's face.. He found violet eyes meeting his azure eyes. He smiled a little, and Ritsuka slid his hands out of his shirt an onto his face, brushing the hair off of his right shoulder and onto his left.

"Am I dreaming?" Soubi teased, almost sound serious.

"I don't think so, I'd hope not." Soubi kissed his cheek.

"You too cute sometimes, you know that? I can hardly control myself sometimes."

"I'm not asking you to, am I?" Ritsuka grinned and Soubi chuckled a little. "Sometimes I just wish you would just hold me more often, like you used to, I miss that. It's hard for me to under-" Soubi interrupted Ritsuka's mindless chatter by sweeping him into another kiss.

Within it, Ritsuka found the passion he had been looking for, the feeling that Soubi had seemed to have lost a year or two ago. It was back, and it overwhelmed him, it took his emotions and shook them up. With that kiss, he realized how much he missed having Soubi near him. He missed him holding him, stealing kisses, telling him how much he loved him. He knew that he was the reason Soubi had stopped, he had no one to blame but himself. He held onto Soubi's shirt and even though he was laying down, he felt like he was going to fall, or float away.

He didn't complain as Soubi began to nibble on his ear a little, he pink came to his cheeks and ran his fingers through Soubi's hair, finding a lock and twirling it in his finger gently, making sure not to pull. When he released the tension in his finger, which was keeping the hair together, it fell gracefully out of his finger.

"I love you Ritsuka," Soubi whispered in his ear. Ritsuka shivered a little bit, not in a bad way, but it seemed to fill his body. He heard it, he understood it, he felt it he knew it was true. He wanted to hear it, he wanted it.

"Soubi..."he barely managed to get out. "I..I l-"

"Sou-chan? You home?" a voice called followed by several bangs on the door. Soubi fell limp onto Ritsuka. Not crushing him, but his weight was defiantly there.

"Of all times, why NOW Kio?" Soubi muttered to himself. It was frustrating, Ritsuka was about to say it, and Kio just happened to barge in. Not that he was the only one peeved about the whole situation. Ritsuka sighed, a sign of frustration. The blonde smiled gently but. His head was against the teen's chest. He could hear his hear beating, his every breath. It was whimsical. He didn't really want to get up and leave the warmth they were sharing together. It was too much like a dream, and if he got up it, it would fade away and may never return.

Banging came from the door again, followed by Kio's yelling. Ritsuka closed his eyes, and stroked Soubi's head once, and then spoke.

"If you don't get the door, he'll break it down. Don't keep him waiting Soubi."  
"Hmm..I'll take that risk." Ritsuka smiled.

"Just go alright? I'll be down in a few." Soubi sighed, knowing that Ritsuka would get mad if He didn't. He kissed Ritsuka on the cheek and murmured 'I love you' as he got up. He straightened his hair and clothing on the way down. Ritsuka laid on the bed, looking at he ceiling. His chest was bare, his mind was racing and he was flushed. Soubi was so close to him, he left his kisses lingering, where his hands touched him. It all seemed to never end, that feeling. That feeling he couldn't describe wouldn't go away. His heart was pounding, his hands were still shaking, his head was foggy causing his thoughts to blur and become unclear. His stomach churning he felt a little nauseated and he was tense. He couldn't stand it. He stood up and went onto the balcony, he wasn't tired anymore. Soubi had let Kio in by this time, they were discussing something by now.

The air was almost thick, it was cold and dense. It felt good though. Ritsuka inhaled and filled his lungs with the cold air, it smelled of rain. He exhaled, letting all the warmth out of him, he repeated his deep breathing a few more times to calm himself. He closed his eyes and let the wind blow across his face. It was already getting dark, despite the fact that it was still pretty early in the day. The storm coming in fast. He buttoned his shirt, and rolled up the sleeves. It was nice out, a little on the chilly side, but nice. It was nice to escape the heat for once.

Meanwhile, Soubi was inside talking with Kio.  
"Hey Sou-chan, hope you weren't too busy. I though I would hang out." Soubi smiled, trying to seem pleasant. Kio would never let it down if he found out what he was upstairs doing just a few moments ago.

"Don't worry about it," he walked into the living room.

"Looks good, how long did it take you to get all of this done?'

"It's not, and pretty much all day. What were you up to?"

"Painting, I've got this huge thing due in like two weeks, I just started today too."

"You going to get it done?"

"Hope so." The balcony door opened and closed. "Is Ritsuka here?" Soubi nodded.

"His mom is out of town,I'm letting him stay here." Kio grinned.

"Your too cute Soubi, I still don't like what you two have, but it's kinda cute."

"I'm glad you think so." Kio laughed, he had a good sense of humor. Sometimes it was enough that you wondered if everything was funny to him.

"Oh," Kio said, calming his laughing. "Did you get your studio set up?"

"First thing I did. It's nice up there."

"You should show me." Kio said grabbing onto his hand. "Please?" Kio was able to whine, he had this certain ability to make himself sound like a little kid. Soubi sighed, he would have to, it was the only way to entertain him for now.

"Alright, lets go." Kio grinned and cheered, pulling Soubi upstairs. Kio saw Ritsuka out on the balcony, the wind gently blowing his hair and clothing while he gazed over the city.

"You know Soubi, Ritsuka can really be beautiful at times. He's a little feminine, but, he's something else. Your lucky." Soubi caught sight of what Kio did and nodded.

"He really is."

"Pervert. I know what you were thinking. You leave his ears alone!"

"That wasn't what I was thinking at all Kio, now come on, the studio is that way." he directed with his free hand. Too bad Kio was right. There was something that drew Soubi to his cat ears, he didn't want them to go away, but then again, he did. His ears were part of his innocence, part of what made him cute. People didn't appreciate their ears enough, they weren't around forever (usually anyway) and you couldn't get them back when they were gone. They were a sign of what was considered adulthood. According to Seimei, it wasn't loosing your ears that made you an adult, it was how you acted. There were few people who thought like this, few who agreed. Soubi agreed for the most part. It wasn't only the loss of your ears that made you an adult, it took much more than that. Soubi hadn't considered himself and adult when he shed his ears. He really wasn't considering how he lost them. It brought him to what Seimei had told him so long ago.

_6 years ago..._

"Soubi, your such a little kid, you know that right. Carry this for me." Seimei said handing his fighter some books.

"What do you mean by that?" Soubi learned not to take offense from what Seimei said. He was very blunt.

"Everyone said you became an adult at a young age and all, but you think like a little kid. It's annoying quite frankly." Seimei's ears folded against his head and he started to lead Soubi out into a field. Soubi obediently followed, without being told.

"I'm not that much older than you."

"There you go again. I'm not talking about age. I'm years more mature than you are, even if your older age wise than I am. It's a matter of mind frame, not age." Soubi nodded and listened as Seimei found shade to retreat into. Summer was hot this year, hotter than it had been the last few years.

"Like me little brother, Ritsuka. You remember him, right?"

"Yeah, he's 9, right?"

"Yes, my mother brought him to me as a gift. I love him Soubi. He's also quite mature for his age. In a lot of ways, he's more mature than you are." He said sitting down under a large tree. "It's cooler under here. Set those down and come sit next to me Soubi." He did as told, much like a dog. He would do anything Seimei told him. Anything. He didn't always understand how Seimei thought, it wasn't worth thinking of. It was pointless to thing about.

"Here, Soubi rest your head on my legs," Soubi did, "Close your eyes. Now, as I was saying, Ritsuka can be much more mature than you are. Ritsu disagrees, what do you think?" Seimei ran his thumb across the art that he had carved on his fighter. Soubi didn't flinch, he didn't open his eyes.

"I agree with you," he responded thoughtlessly. It didn't require though to answer his master, he was always right. Seimei laughed a little.

"I know you do. Ritsu thinks both Ritsuka and I are children, because we still posses our ears." Seimei ran his fingers through Soubi's hair, feeling where his ears would be if he still had them, he took a strand of his golden hair. "I think he's the child." A gentle breeze blew the meadow they were sitting in. A few petals from the daisies blew around. The whites and pinks spotted the green grass that stretched ahead. The school wasn't far away, but it seemed like miles the way they were sitting.

"Soubi, your just like him sometimes. It still disappoints me that he owns part of you."

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are. You'll repay me later. But really Soubi, the lack of ears doesn't make you an adult. No no, it's much more than that. Plus people trust you more if you still have you ears..." Seimei closed his eyes and laughed at himself. He sounded ridiculous. He looked down at Soubi's collar, it made Soubi his. Forever. Soubi was his fighter, and he knew he had another fighter. That meant he had two. Things would work out, his plan wouldn't fail.

"Come Soubi, Let's go find someone to fight. I'll figure out away for you to repay me later." As just like that, they were off to fulfill Seimei's desires.

--

"Sou-chan, your spacing again." Kio pinched his cheek. Soubi came back and pushed his friend's hand away.

"Hmm? Sorry, just remembering something."

"It smells like paint in here, I hope you open a window when your painting." Soubi looked into his studio. Kio turned on the light, revealing a well-lit room with art supplies all over. It was a large room, and the white walls made is seem very open. An easel stood in the center, with Soubi's most recent painting on it. A glass table sat next to it, with tubes of paint neatly organized on a lower shelf of the table. A stool sat next to the easel, it allowed Soubi to sit while he was painting, which was a relief since he painted for hours on end and if he stood he was always sore afterwards. A sink was placed into the counters that were against the back wall. There were paint brushes and rags next to the sink, the counters were pretty much clear. A few glass jars filled with paint brushes, a jug of what looked like water (they were actually mineral spirits) and a glass jar sitting next to the jug. A single vase littered the counters, nothing of interest, except for the vase which was completely random. Blank canvases of different sizes were held up by a wall, they sat there, waiting to be used. Next to them were finished paintings, or ones that were being finished. They were filled with color, and all seemed to be fighting for attention, but were all very typical Soubi style paintings. They were all beautiful.

"Yeah, I do. You'd get sick if you didn't." He waited for Kio to respond, but he didn't. A few moments passed before Kio said anything.

"Woah! This must be a nice place to paint!" Kio went into the room, to look at the paintings. He acted like a little kid. Soubi rolled his eyes as he watched. Kio looked at the painting on the easel.

"This is the one you mentioned, for your gallery! You did an amazing job, it's gorgeous!"

"Thanks," Soubi sighed. He had put tons of hours into that painting, he was proud of it.

"Has Ritsuka seen it yet?"

"Not yet, I'm sure he'll get around to it. It's the opening piece for the gallery as well. Plenty of chances." Kio grinned.

"So when is the opening? I'm coming, so you know."

"A week and a half, and of course your coming Kio. I was assuming you were coming anyway. I'll give you information later."

"I'm counting on it! Anyway, it's cold outside, and I'm still cold. Let's go put water on for something hot," Kio said, walking out of the studio and headed down for the kitchen. Soubi followed, glancing at the balcony as he went down. Ritsuka looked so calm, he'd be cold when he came in though. It might give Soubi a chance to hold him again. His thoughts were on Ritsuka, but he had to follow Kio to make sure he didn't break anything. Kio could be such a little kid, more than Seimei could understand.

Ritsuka stood on the balcony, fully unaware of the two inside. He had cooled off, and he had stopped shaking. His mind was still racing and foggy, but at least he felt a little better. He heard children laughing, they must be playing in the nearby playground. He smiled a little, children were lucky. They were so oblivious to the ugly in the world, they were free thinkers, no one has molded them into something other than themselves. Little kids never stayed little, they all grew up, they became aware. Ritsuka missed the days when he was little. Everything was better. He didn't remember much, he remembered his brother, the loving household. It hurt to think about it, being little didn't last long enough. Once you hit a certain point in your life, you begin to see all the hate, all the joy seems to fade. It's hard to live with

Rain hit his cheek, and he looked up. Little droplets fell and showered the earth below, Ritsuka decided that he didn't need another shower. He headed inside shivering, it must have been colder outside than he thought. He heard Soubi and Kio talking from the kitchen. Ritsuka was a little upset at Kio's timing, but also a little grateful. Who knows what would have happened if Kio hadn't shown up.

He heard Soubi laugh, it was nice to hear him happy. He went to go see what they were up to. It wasn't hard finding them, Ritsuka was comfortable in Soubi's house, and had learned how voices sound in different rooms. Kio said something, and Ritsuka followed the voice. Soon enough he followed the voice into the kitchen.

"Ri-chan!" Kio said sounding very amused.

"Hey Kio." Ritsuka said keeping his voice calm. "What are you guys doing?"

"Boiling water, want something hot to drink?" Ritsuka looked over at the now quiet Soubi. He was smiling, it looked different than usual. He seemed like he was happy, truly happy. Ritsuka smiled at the sight of Soubi's and nodded to Kio.

"Alright, I'll get you something then. Soubi, where's the stuff?"

"Over there. I set it out already." Ritsuka plopped himself down on one of the stools. Kio fumbled with cups and a few other things. Ritsuka didn't really care about Kio right now, he was focusing on Soubi. He watched the other man talk, his movements, the way he acted. It was all mesmerizing. Soubi stood in the corner of the counters, leaning against them. His arms were crossed, his hair loose and draping over his left shoulder. His face was free from the glasses that usually sat on his face. Ritsuka liked it better when Soubi didn't wear those glasses, they messed with the way he looked.

Soubi looked over and met Ritsuka's gaze. Immediately Ritsuka looked away and turned slightly red in the cheeks. Soubi grinned and walked over to where the teen was sitting. Kio was busy pouring water and reading directions. Soubi kissed Ritsuka's cheek and grinned.

"I know what your thinking Soubi, don't say it," Ritsuka whispered with a sort of warning yet teasing voice.

"You do? I'm surprised," Soubi whispered back. "I think I'll save my comment for later then."

"Thank you." Soubi leaned closer to his ear.

"I so saw you checking me out."

"Soubi!" Ritsuka said louder than he meant his face filling with color. "I was not," this time his voice was softer. Luckily Kio didn't seem to hear him.

"I saw you doing it, don't be afraid to admit it."

"Dork," Ritsuka said, "That's not what I was doing." Soubi kissed him again, short and sweet.

"Hey, stop making out and lets go watch the movie," Kio scolded them. Ritsuka's face was red still, and Kio's comment didn't help much. Soubi grinned and took two of the mugs which contained a hot drink to warm them all up. Ritsuka muttered something under his breath and followed the other two out into the living room.

* * *

Ahhh! I finally finished! Sorry about the delay. I've been pretty busy with life and all. It's fall break this week. I'm hoping to get ahead a few chapters and post them up later. Key word hoping. Sorry for any mistakes, I'm working on it! And this chapter seems shorter than usual, strange. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :3 I really dislike the no tabs thing. I love my tabs...

Hideyo


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